Morality and other sticky situations

It seems like I've been bumping into more moral issues lately. Maybe it's because my Spanish is good enough to ask all the personal questions that I usually ask in English! In any case, here are some examples:

A neighbor explained to me (rather hautily, I thought) that her family doesn't celebrate Halloween because they are Christian -- that they don't let the frivolities and revelry of the day make them forget that they are only for God and no one else. I know that Halloween is against the morality of some people in the States, too. But her 18 year old daughter has a 2 year old son, so it didn't seem like she had much of a leg to stand on up on the soapbox as she looked down on the candy-grubbing kids in Spiderman costumes running wild in the streets.

A new Chilean friend told me that it's not uncommon for Chileans to fool around with their cousins. I was shocked and horrified, but not quite believing it. I mean, maybe that guy has weird (really weird) friends. But another friend confirmed that this is, indeed, a rather common practice. I flailed around, covered my face, and finally plugged my ears. Melodramatic? Yes. Totally overreacting? He thought so. He acted like I was a prude, even though he agreed that it would be bad to hook up with your sister or mother. He even said it would be weird for cousins to get married and have kids. Hummmm. Am I really such a prude for thinking they shouldn't be doing anything at all??

Cheating in school is bad, right? Achieving things you didn't earn isn't fair. Then again, I come from a culture (or, at least, a family) that prides individual accomplishment, working for what you get, and expecting similarly big things (or, at least, the effort) from other people. However, from what I have heard and experienced, cheating is not as much of a violation in Chile. Telling your friends in another class what's on the test isn't cheating -- it's being a good friend. Making a cheat sheet on a piece of paper, your hand, your shoe, your leg, or whatever else isn't cheating -- it's gaming the system. That's really it -- cheating is a game, a sport. Cheaters work in teams and the amount of strategy that goes into the "game plan" is amazing. If they spent half that time studying, they'd get better grades and have a better chance at a better job.

Lying is another one. Maybe students in the States lie to their professors all the time. But, seriously, what are the odds that so many people happen to fall ill on a test day? It couldn't possibly be that they want to wait to hear what's on it before they take it. Or how about the guy in my friend's class who sat and stared at his quiz for 20 minutes, then finally turned it in blank. He proceded to ask her what he should get the director of his career to write so that he could take it again. Or the girl in another friends's class who got her quiz back with the corrections in red pen and quickly squeezed them into her quiz in pencil and tried to claim that they had been there all along. Seriously!

What about my own sense of right and wrong? The first semester, I did not accept any invitations from students to get together outside of class. I thought it was unprofessional and potentially disasterous. But this semester, I've thrown that rule out the window. Maybe it's because it's my last semester here, or because I'm so eager to have Chilean friends, or because I'm boy crazy, or because other things about the institute are unprofessional. Maybe it's all of those things. Last night, I went with a group of students to a barbecue at one's house. Because they are computer science students, there were about 15 guys and 3 girls there. I was the only single one of the latter. I reveled in being the center of attention, danced with practically all of them one point or another, and spoke a mad amount of Spanish. It was so fun.

I spent the night there because the guy who was supposed to drive me home took a swig of whiskey right before we were supposed to leave. Doof. Another guy who vied for the priviledge of driving me home (but lost because his overt and awkward fascination with me makes me uncomfortable) had his younger brother puking in the back seat, which made that option doubly ruled out! I slept in a big bed with the girlfriend of the student whose house it was. Somehow, though, I woke up with the boyfriend in bed with me after she went to class. His arm was draped over me. I figured maybe he was confused, but then as we lazed around chatting, he didn't move his arm. I didn't know what to do, so I didn't do anything. I mean, hell, maybe he does that with his cousin and it's totally normal. Gah!