Rethinking

I'm not loving the job or Mumbai (after two weeks in), so I need to figure out exactly what I want out of the former in preparation for a serious conversation with my boss. I'm making too little and living too uncomfortably (Mumbai is hot, humid, crowded, and really stinky) to be doing work I don't find interesting or useful in terms of professional development. If I can't get what I need out of the position/company, I'm bailing. This model of working for peanuts to gain experience is unlikely going to get me what I ultimately want. Instead, I'm going to be stuck doing it over and over, hoping the *next* job will be the highly-compensated, highly-regarded, jet-setting position I want. If the current job doesn't pan out, I'll consider looking elsewhere in Mumbai. Having more disposable income here makes a BIG difference in quality of life. My sister also offered to let me stay with her in Singapore for as long as she's there to look for a job in that crowded, but clean and organized, city-state.

This is hard for me. I've not been good at asking for what I need at work. As a result, I've quit and looked for it elsewhere without even asking about retooling the current job to better suit my interests, needs, priorities, etc. Maybe those companies would've told me to shove off. But maybe they would've given me what I asked for ... maybe even rewarded me for the initiative. I kick myself for not knowing. Logically, people are unlikely to give you what you want unless you ask for it. So why does the mere thought of asking make me feel selfish, whiny, and vulnerable?