Bureaucracy and other such nonsense

I'm writing this to remind myself that India is NOT the only country with ridiculous bureaucracy and nonsensical rules. (Okay, fine, neither was Chile.)

I need to provide proof of residency in Washington State to the Indian consulate in San Francisco, which covers western states. They only accept a state driver's license or utility bill in my name. The latter is out because I'm bumming off my parents. As for the former, I still have a Delaware license from before I left for Chile the first time. In order to get a Washington license, I need to prove proof of identity and proof of residency. That would be easy except that (1) my passport is in the hands of the Indian consulate in San Francisco -- no easy proof of ID and (2) I have no utility bills in my name because, as I mentioned, I am a shameless mooch.

Today, I called my dad at work, sobbing because I felt like nothing was going right and never would. (Exaggerate, me?) At the very least, I risk losing my ticket to Mumbai and looking like an idiot when I push back my start date. He accompanied me to the Department of Licensing. Here's what we found out.

1. He cannot vouch for me living at his house, and thereby serve as proof of address, unless I'm a minor. Somehow, when I turned 19, his credibility went out the window.

2. Official ID cards issued by foreign governments (Chile's, for example) are not accepted as forms of ID. However, a school yearbook with my name and photo is.

3. A concealed weapons permit is permissible, but bank statements, credit card statements, or cell phone bills are not.

4. My valid Delaware license is not sufficient proof of identity.

5. Budget cuts are forcing the DOL to close most of its offices, so we had to go the hell and gone to find all this out. Plus, that office doesn't even do testing (which, thank goodness, I don't need). In fact, there's no longer a DOL testing facility within the Seattle city limits.

6. The almighty ulitity bill serves as the proof of residency, but utility companies don't care who they're billing (i.e. whether said person resides at that address) so long as they get paid. Why it's then the gold standard is an absolute mystery.

5. Because I'm back at the same address from when I got my driver's license at age 16, I do not need to re-prove my residency. I'm in the DOL system, apparently. However, I'm in their system from before they switched to digital licenses, so they don't have my photo in their database. If they did, I wouldn't have to do anything besides forfeit my Delaware license and pay the fees. But if my parents had moved ...

B L A R G.