A topsy turvy day

I guess the last day of classes was bound to be a doozy, but here's what my day has been like so far (bearing in mind that it's only 1 pm):

This morning, for the second time this week, I was told that someone in my host family was "about to" hop in the shower and asked if I was in a hurry. I wasn't in so much of a hurry that I had to skip ahead in line, so I said no. Only neither time did the person hop in the shower immediately, or 10 minutes later, or 20 minutes later. So, twice this week, I've been running late because I waited and this morning I didn't even end up having time for a shower. I was hurried AND dirty.

While waiting for the shower, I was talking to my host mom and found out that Chile banned smoking in buses, offices, etc., a few years ago. Say what? I consider places "behind the times" if they haven't banned smoking in bars and restaurants. And divorce wasn't legal up until a few years ago either. Wow. Sometimes Chile seems so similar to the U.S., but just a few years ago, you could be stuck on a bus with your chain-smoking husband, lamenting that you couldn't un-marry the bum. As I was pondering this, my host mom started talking about how some women have babies to try to keep their men. The frustration that it causes in the man, she says, is why there have been a lot of female murder victims in the news lately. She said that the victims provoked their own killings. Huh.

As I was rushing from the metro to the institute with my greasy ponytail in tow, I saw a boy throw garbage at the trash can and miss. He and his mom kept walking. But then his brother, who was wearing a cast on one arm, bent down, picked it up, and put it in the trash can. I smiled, thinking, maybe this isn't such a god-forsaken, hopelessly-hopeless country after all.

Then, I was acosted by several students wanting me to help them with administrative issues, then another begging to see his grade. I also read several messages from students. One student asked why he didn't get partial credit for the online exercise because ... get this ... he only copied half of it from another student. Unbelievable. Another student asked when she could make up a quiz that we took, oh, the 22nd of October. Finally, someone asked why she didn't get credit for work she never submitted. Hum.

I sighed, hit my head against the wall a few times, grabbed the written finals from my locker, and headed for the annex where all the English classes are held. I love that class; they have the best attendance, the best grades, and the most interest in learning English. One of them kissed me on the cheek and said, "I will miss you a lot," when he turned in his final. I wish I could relate how sweetly and wistfully he said it. But later someone asked me a question and when I went to his desk, I saw that he had a "cheat sheet" written on his palm. I took away his exam and explained that writing answers on your hand is cheating. He didn't put up much of a fight, but I wanted to cry. He's a sweet "tough guy" who's English is way above average. He's smart, but today he was so dumb. I feel sick thinking about it. I imagine that this is how someone feels when one dumb move lands someone they care about in prison, expelled from school, or whatever. The situation might have been so easily avoided. He would've gotten a good grade, but now he's going to fail.

Life is so raw, so real here. This year has been incredible. I wouldn't undo any of it, even though some parts were so ridiculously embarrassing, frustrating, crazy-making, painful ... There are things I wish I hadn't done, said, or been afraid of. There are things I wish I had done, said, and been afraid of. I'm worried that no one will ever understand what this year has been, but no one can ever understand. That makes me feel unique -- and so incredibly alone.