Things that made me go HAHAHAHA

I wanted to post some funny moments for posterity.

In one of my classes, we're studying the 2nd conditional (If I were president, I would ...) and tonight I gave them slips of paper with questions they had to ask each other. One of the questions was "If you were skinny dipping and a stranger saw you, what would you do?" One of the students (both JP Morgan analysts) said he would try to explain the situation, saying that he hoped he had a good reason. The other student was shocked and said he would try to hide. We laughed and laughed as I acted out the scenario: one guy waving his arms saying, "Come back, come back! I can explain!" while the other guy says, "Shut up, man, what the hell are you doing??" as he doggy paddles away as fast as possible. Hilarious. Then, the I-would-explain guy asked the other "What would you do if you worked at a bank and a robber came in with a gun?" The guy said he wouldn't do anything. "What if he only had a baseball bat?" the other one asked. The answer was a priceless mis-translation from Spanish: I would reduce him. I couldn't help it. I burst out laughing and couldn't stop. In Spanish, it's something like "I would take him down", but it just sounded so out-of-this-world hilarious!

And, though I hate to stereotype a country full of people, most Chileans just aren't creative, independent thinkers. Two examples:

1. A friend takes the bus after the metro's last stop and he noticed that the waiting area at that last station was always packed, with people forcing themselves on the buses. So, he decided to get off at the second-to-last station, get on the bus there, and thereby miss the crush of people because he'd already be comfortably on th bus. Makes sense, no? Only so few people figure it out! He says he always sees people who were on the metro with him waiting at that last station behind a throng of people herding onto the buses. Loco.

2. A British friend is studying at nursing school and a recent class left him speechless. The teacher was talking about the difference between external thermometers (think armpit) and internal thermometers (think mouth and bum). One student asked how you could keep from putting one in a mouth that had been in a bum. This stumped the class. They hemmed and hawed for five minutes over this "really difficult, complicated" problem. One girl sitting near my friend said, "We could buy two." The teacher quickly quieted the class, excitedly asking the girl to repeat what she'd said. "Shhhhh, shhhhh, she's got it!" shouted the teacher. The girl repeated her idea and everyone ooooohed and aaaaahed. (Maybe they clapped; my friend didn't say.) He sat there with his mouth hanging open. I'll tell you what ... if I ever go to the doctor again in Chile, I'm offering the bum!!!

Ah, and one last smile for the night ...

It's become an undesirable game to see how few bags I can get at the grocery store because Chileans are notorios over-baggers. One plastic grocery bag per one or two items is not uncommon. And if they put more than a few things in a bag, they double it! It kills me. I have a mountain of bags at home and no plastic-bag recycling program in-country!! I try all sorts of things ... reusing bags from previous shopping trips (very strange looks), no bags if I only have a few things (very strange looks), or shoving things into my backpack (very strange looks). It doesn't help that bagging is a booming industry for young Chileans, so I have to be a weird gringa who tells them in a gringo accent that I have too many bags at home, I love the environment, blah blah blah, annoy the people behind me in line because the poor kid is like EEEEHHH? ... Anyhow, tonight, I prayed that no bagger would be working my check-out line and no one was! Then, I shoved everything I could into my backpack and walked triumphantly out of the store with only one new plastic bag (for the big stuff that wouldn't fit). I practically skipped home I was so giddy over my "success"!!