You'll change your mind

I closed out everything today, gave the grade sheets, tests, etc., to my boss, turned over the key to my locker in the teacher's lounge, and said my last goodbyes. It was weird. I was happy to close out the semester, but sad to close out the year. Anyhow ...

I went to the supermarket in the mall on my way to the metro station, thinking I might get some temporary hair dye. I have a lot of vacation coming up and what better time to enjoy being a redhead? I was cruising the hair dye section, when a "color expert" approached me. He told me that my skin has yellow undertones so red might end up looking orange. I was suspicious of his expertise, but continued to listen. We talked for a while, quickly about nothing related to hair dye. He said he was getting off for break in a few minutes and would I like to get something to eat with him. Sure, I said, why not.

We went up to the food court and he said he didn't have much money, but did I want something to drink. I said, no, I'm fine. I encouraged him to get lunch, since he'd be working the whole afternoon, but he begged off, seemingly because he couldn't pay for me to eat, too. Stupid machismo pride. He got himself a drink and fries to share while I found a table.

We continued to talk (all in Spanish, go me!) and I could tell he was interested in me. I saw a cute kid toddle by and waved. He asked me if I like kids. I said yes. His eyes lit up. Uh oh. He started talking excitedly about how he really likes kids, too, and how he wants to have a lot of them. Then I explained that, ummmm, I like kids but I don't want any, that I like giving them back to their parents, that I like the freedom of living for myself. His face drooped like it might fall right off.

He took a few seconds to absorb what I had said. I watched the whole thing with shocked amusement -- he thought he was going to find a mother for his babies in the supermarket? Apparently so, based on what he said next! With the disclaimer that he doesn't know me at all (true!), it seemed to him that I was in a youthful, adventurous phase and that I would change my mind and want a big family. "Never say never," he said. Anything is possible, I agreed hesitantly. His eyes lit up again. He was sure that I wouldn't want to be "old" and realize that I wasted my opportunity to be happy (by having kids, I inferred). I explained that that is precisely what I'm doing now. I'm seeing the world, living in overdrive, and putting myself in really difficult situations so that I don't have regrets. Even droopier face.

Satisfied, I suggested we get going. He seemed to get it because he walked me to the escalator and didn't ask for my number. We wished each other well and as I descended, I was grinning, feeling victorious.

Only later did I start to get pissed. His you'll-change-your-mind reaction is so typical. I get it all the time when I say that I don't plan to have kids -- no, no, not now, not soon, not ever. It's not fair! If someone says they want to have kids, no one ever says, "You're young. This is a phase. You'll change your mind."