The funniest thing I've read in a while

Okay, so I wrote it.

My pen drive was maxed out, so I've been compressing or deleting files. I came across a dating ad I'd put on craigslist. For your reading pleasure:

I was bemoaning to a friend how much trouble I have finding guys who interest me. She asked what I was looking for, listened intently, then proclaimed, "Guys like that are *totally* out there!" Is she right?

Here's my wish list, in no particular order:

I want someone who would rather watch a documentary about the political history of China than American Idol or SportsCenter.

I want someone who avoids rowdy, drunken, chain-smoking bar-hoppers (like the plague they are in West Chester).

I want someone who seeks to understand and experience the world, and is simultaneously driven to improve it.

I want someone who likes a woman who keeps her fingernails short because it's practical, but paints her toenails because it's pretty.

I want someone who is honest and genuine, who realizes that he has feelings and is comfortable expressing them.

I want someone who would like to find someone special, but isn't in a rush to get married. (But when he does, he'd rather go white-water rafting than to a nudie bar for his bachelor party.)

I want someone who is *way* more comfortable in jeans and a t-shirt than a suit and tie ... and won't care that I only own one dress (for emergencies).

I want someone who is generous with his time & talent, responsible with his money, and fiercely devoted to who & what he cares about.

I want someone who would rather have a Prius than an Expedition, a month-long jungle trek than a week at a 5-star resort, and a stack of library books than 100 successful raids in World of Warcraft.

And, because CLers tend to have a hard time weeding themselves out, please heed the following: Don't contact me if you're married or otherwise attached; don't contact me if you smoke, do drugs, or have a history of violence against women; don't contact me if you old and/or perverted; don't contact me if you live far away. Thanks!